Fundy Troll Hunting


Jesus H. Christ, I’m pissed. I had just about given up on Christians altogether. (I’d given up on the religion years ago.)

Then Janie bumps into Amanda. We’ve read a bunch of the stuff she writes together, and I have to say, Amanda gives me hope. She’s all about kindness, and fair play, and she doesn’t let the Fundies think for her.

I’m really OK with that kind of Christian. It’s the shiniest side of the whole religion. Amanda seems to exemplify the very best qualities of her faith.

But damned if she ain’t getting a bunch of shit from some hate-mongering troll who just ain’t happy that Amanda won’t spew the hate. She won’t bow down and get in line, and repeat the party mantra. (He’s a cocksnack, anyway. See here or here for details.)

Well GOOD FOR AMANDA, I say.

That fucking douchebag “Weapon of Mass Instruction” (Wet Mush of Insanity, more like) needed taken down a peg.

Nothing like using the bible to humiliate a Pharisee.

Fucker.

So he’s all like “wah. You’re friends with atheists”

Amanda’s all “well, would it kill us to be kind to everyone? We aren’t going to impress anyone by stoning them.”

He spouts off about rolling out the carpet for atheists and Amanda says Christians are SUPPOSED to roll out the carpet and be kind and friendly and y’know HUMAN.

So Janie goes over and says “My carpet is rolled out for you, Amanda, c’mon over anytime.”

WOMI spits some crap: “There you go Amanda, you can add a homosexual to you list of friends.

Any converts yet?

Did not think so.”

Amanda very sensibly says

“I will gladly add a homosexual to my list of friends. Janie, you’re welcome here anytime! And Musicguy, you are too.”

and then points out that WOMI isn’t able to convert anyone and neither can she. She’s talking about God doing the work, if I read that correctly.

Anyway.

WOMI. Oh, god, you just don’t know how that went the fuck through me. It was all I could do to control my language on this nice girl’s blog. It’s this kind of scum that I despise for all the pain and hate and death they spread.

He’s a disgusting piece of spooge, as we say.

Anyway again.

Here’s what I replied,

Corporal Kate posted at 12/08/2006 11:31:00 AM

WOMI,If you have a point, make it. Here’s mine.It’s jerks like you, with nothing better to do than spread hate and fear, that reinforce the notion that Christians are idiots and fascists. Millions of people all over the world are dying of starvation, disease, and war, and your obsession is my bedroom.Spewing the garbage fed to you by your little would-be-dictators while all the time pretending to honor your own holy man who would have had none of it makes you a two-faced, lying, ignorant, hypocrite.You are the money changer in the temple, the Pharisee that your prophet found disgusting and abhorrent. Your own holy book says that Jesus threw your kind out on their collective asses.You are the overtoothed televangelist Pharisee in the front row of the temple, declaring your humility loudly for all to hear and be impressed.

“And he spake this parable unto certain which truste in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.

I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying God be merciful unto me a sinner.

I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.” – Luke 18:9-14

This story is all about you, WOMI. You are the Pharisee, singing your own praises.

Verily, I say unto your stupid butt, Amanda will go down unto her house justified, rather than your self-aggrandizing, self-righteous ass.

(Sorry, Amanda.)

Amanda, I hope you will also count me among your blogoverse buddies.
And for the record, WOMI, neither my Love Janie, nor myself, have ANY sexual preference, one way or the other.

We’re much more interested in a person’s inside, than their reproductive organs. Funny that you should be so obsessed with such things.

…oooOOOooo…

[UPDATE: Janie posts her own smackdown]

20 Comments

  1. I think that was admirably restrained 🙂

  2. Thanks, anuminous.

    It was hard to keep in check. I was told by email that it was the cyber version of bustin’ a beer bottle on the bar and jumpin’ in to protect my woman.

    Damn straight. (pardon the pun)

  3. Janie posts her own smack-down.

    That asshole needs a Love enema.

    Any volunteers? Or do I have to whip out the strap-on? I guarantee he’ll Love THAT!

  4. Damn! Remind me to never piss you off! The sad thing is that rationale thought has no effect on him. I feel sorry for him rather than angry. It can’t be fun being that freaking delusional!

  5. Hi MusicGuy,

    I’m really a kitten, usually. I’d rather be naked with my honey than beating up on some brainless fundy.

    Sometimes I gotta do what I gotta do.

    🙂

    He’s so full of hate. I can’t feel sorry for him.

  6. Just saw this post, and I gotta say…Thanks! 🙂 I *do* appreciate your language restraint on my blog. But I definitely appreciate your comments too…I love it when a nonChristian can show a “Christian” how to be a Christian. If that made any sense.

  7. You’re welcome, Amanda, and it made perfect sense. I’m really annoyed to see despicable hate-mongerers beating up on good people for not breeding hate.

    Call it a pet peeve, but when someone goes around claiming to be a follower of Jesus, but has nothing better to do than spit all over everything he taught, that tells me something. I hate to invoke the “No True Scotsman” fallacy, but if you are going to claim to be a follower of Jesus (which is what Christian means, after all), then shouldn’t you… you know… follow his teachings?

    WOMI is a follower of something, but it sure as hell ain’t Jesus.

  8. You’re my hero, Lover.

    Kisses to you. Lots of big, long, wet kisses.

  9. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Bronze Dog et al. have dubbed him Cocksnack, and link to his blog every time they call him that.

    That’s too fucking funny.

  10. Just to note: It was Ryan who started up the googlebomb effort. I’ve merely stayed out of its way in hopes that Ryan’s bad cop angle might actually provoke a neuron to fire in Weapon’s head. I doubt it’ll work, since he’s sealed himself off in Solipsism Land.

  11. I’ve always wondered what a google bomb was, but was never interested enough to look it up.

    Now that we know, Kate and I will be spreading it like a virus, despite our agreement that it will probably do little to spark any neurons in his puny little brain.

    (Insert gratuitous Cocksnack reference here.)

  12. Cocksnack is a moron; a shining member of the 95% club.

    And I’m the A – hole that’s rude to people; BronzeDog prefers a more civilized approach. That’s one of the reasons I handed over the reins to my old blog and set up shop here

  13. Fixed your first 95% link for you, Ryan. Question: Doesn’t the “nofollow” tag defeat the purpose of the google bomb? Did you put that in your links, or was that automatically added by WordPress? Should I be adding the tag to my links?

    Ok, that was three questions, but still.

    Kisses!

  14. Oh, and you can say “Asshole” here. And “fuck”. And “Cunt”. And whatever else crosses your mind.

    No need to self-censor.

    Janie appreciates avoidance of “fuck” at UDoJ, but hers is a more respectable blog.

    🙂

  15. Janie appreciates avoidance of “fuck” at UDoJ, but hers is a more respectable blog.

    Well, I’ve been throwing it around a bit myself in the Jersey Girls thread, so I guess I can’t really complain too much.

    “Respectable”? No need for insults, darling!

    🙂

  16. hey there,
    hehe the whole story makes sense after all. i was kinda lost on it, but then i got to the point that religion can just be an escape for something…

  17. Wow I don’t know you or Amanda or the other people, but it was really good to read your report and also your views on christians, and I am heading over to Amanda’s blog right now! 🙂 Thank you.

  18. Well, I’m always happy to enlighten. A word of caution, though. Amanda has just lost a very dear friend in a car accident (moments after she spoke with him), so please be sensitive.

    As much fun as kicking WOMI the Cocksnack around can be, now is not the time at Amanda’s blog.

    I am also always happy to host the comments of non-hate-mongering people (even Christians), so please feel free to return if that’s you.

    Fundy hate-mongering whack-jobs like Cocksnack needn’t bother.

  19. Hi Kate,
    Don’t worry about me I love love 🙂 I tried to comment on Amanda’s blog but it seems you can only comment there with a blogger account. I’m sorry to hear about her loss and I’m praying for her. Thanks again Kate for sharing this post 🙂

  20. Good! I’m all about Love, too! Sometimes I’m a bitch, but I try to keep those times to a minimum.

    You can choose the “other” option and fill in your own details on the Blogger blogs. That’s what we do.

    Blogger’s always looking for sneaky ways to force people into using a google account though, so sometimes things don’t work for a while.

    I’m sure she appreciates your sentiments, and if you still can’t get a comment through, I’ll be sure to pass them along (I used to be on Blogger beta, so I have an account I can use if I have to).

    I’m happy to do it, and I hope you’ll be back!

    (whoops. Had to fix that, Janie was still logged in. It happens sometimes.)


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