There Are Few Things

Happy Hump Dayin the world yuckier than waking up to a large tongue in your mouth. Now, that may sound like a great thing (and it is, usually), but if the tongue belongs to a golden retriever, not so much.

But one of the things that is yuckier, is waking up to a large tongue in your mouth belonging to a golden retriever and then getting up to take him out and sticking your foot into a slipper full of slobber from that same golden retriever.

Oh, and even worse than that is waking up to a large tongue in your mouth belonging to a golden retriever and then getting up to take him out and sticking your feet into two slippers full of slobber from that same golden retriever.

Just so you frickin’ know.

Have a great HumpDay.

Quiet The Hum, Part Five

Ready For The Belt (To read Janie’s alternate ending, click here.)

“Where?” She whispered into my mouth. I was staring deep into the eyes of my new Mistress, seeing a part of Janie I had never known.

“Upstairs,” I whispered. “There’s a room – “

She cut me off. She let me down to the floor, then turned her head to the side a little. I didn’t care what she was looking at, I just wanted to keep looking into her eyes.

I suddenly felt the tips of her nails on my bleeding lip. I could smell myself on them. There was a hint of Janie there, too and a little mint like gum or breath mints. I kissed her fingers, and she began to push them into my mouth. I wanted to suck them, suck the wetness from them, and I did. I made love to her fingers with my mouth as she moved them in and out on my tongue.

“Now,” I heard her say.

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3 AM

I woke up sometime around 3AM this morning.

I more or less faded into consciousness.

Something warm and wet was working its way up the inside of my knee. Something silky was following it, and around it all was the tickle of long soft hair.

Coming up the the other leg at the same pace was something firmer, with just a little vibration to it.

My tap pants were missing in action, and my satin camisole was brushing against my nipples.

My Dear Love JanieBelle wanted something.

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Never Boink Your Skydiving Partner’s Boyfriend

USMC Super Duper Paratrooper

Just how dumb can you be? Doing the Horizontal Mambo with your skydiving partner’s boyfriend is just asking to have a crap load of silverware come from your parachute pack. Can you say “Wile E. Coyote”? I knew you could.

Found this on CNN:

BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) — Authorities have opened a murder investigation into the death of a skydiver, saying they believe someone tampered with her parachute in an apparent fight over a lover.

Els Van Doren, 37, fell 13,000 feet to her death last November after her parachute and emergency chute failed to open.

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Dr. BA Does SpaceFest ’07

SpaceFest 2007
Dr. BA has been invited to give his Moon Landing Hoax Debunking Talk at SpaceFest 2007. There are going to be a bunch of actual astronauts there, so he seems a bit on edge about it.

Houston, I have a problem.

You see, as you might expect, the astronauts are not big fans of the whole Moon Hoax thing. You might imagine why, since they walked on the Moon. More than a few of them don’t want to discuss it, and many think that no one should even talk about it. I’ve had a couple blow me off at meetings because I debunk it. They think it should be ignored.

I disagree. I think it’s OK for them to ignore it, but — and yes, this is distasteful to admit — it’s a part of Americana now, along with dumb 9/11 and JFK conspiracy theories. We’re stuck with it, and so someone has to deal with it. It’s beneath the astronauts’ dignity to address it, but luckily I have no dignity. I’m only happy to oblige.

Whether the Moon walkers like it or not, I have their backs. I can live with that.

Now I only have to figure out how to explain it to them. Cuz I’m going to SpaceFest in August! Woohoo!

Go give him some encouragement, I think he needs it.

If you haven’t already read it, here’s a link to his page on Fox TV’s pseudo-documentary on the Apollo Moon Landing Hoax B.S. In it, he takes the show apart, and answers all the dumb-ass “evidence” that’s usually offered up to claim that NASA faked the moon landings.

It’s a great resource for setting the record straight, and it should be in the “Debunking The Nutters” folder of your browser bookmarks.

It’s written with us non-scientists in mind, and it’s clear, straightforward, and uses actual… y’know… science.

Casual Sex Friday

Casual Sex Friday
Happy Friday!

The Weekend is almost here, and it’s been a little slow coming this week (no pun intended).

Get up, get a shower, go to work all breezy under your dress, and see what you can do about getting that raise out of your boss (pun intended).

You’ll be thanking me all weekend!

Intensity

Tess over at Urban Gypsy holds nothing back.

Stolen Moments is incredibly graphic and intense.

I told you to meet me in a park close to my house. It was before eight o’clock; late enough to be shrouded in winter-darkness. I pulled in, parked next to you and hopped into your car. We can see the main road from where we were but around us were only shadows. Leaning in to kiss you, you held me back, held me at arms length, looked at me with those bright eyes that hold me spellbound, making my desire bloom and threaten to overwhelm me. You know what you do to me and you delight in it. The first kiss was gentle, soft and slow, my body separated from yours by the geography of your car, else I would have melted into you. Light kisses building in intensity, till you trapped my tongue in your teeth making me gasp. Tongues entwined as my limbs ached to be enmeshed with yours.

Read the rest. It’s … I’m not even sure what to call it, other than intense.

Man, that was good.