I know it’s Oral Orgasm Thursday and not Masturbation Monday, but this couldn’t wait.
No further comment from me necessary, Maxine takes care of it:
“(Big Jesus FTW!)
If you’re worried about your wicked behavior being watched by a camera by the police department, let me tell you there is a bigger camera that is watching all of your wicked behavior. It’s call the Lord God Jesus Christ. And he sees everything. So turn off your computer porn and stop rubbing yourself in unholy ways, stop picking up whores in cheap bars and stop shoving long objects up your under-hole. Yes, God is watching, don’t be afraid of Big Brother, because Big Jesus is watching and you will be swimming in a molting lake of fire if you don’t hand over your life to Jesus, libtards. I’m praying for you, it’s probably a lost cause, but I’m earning points with Jesus.”
Maxine, The Daily Page, Madison WI Comments (34) 2007-Nov-14
Where I found it:
That’s Toqueteo 2, by Sorgin.
A banker, an attorney and The Boy were sitting naked in a sauna when suddenly there was a beeping sound. The banker pressed his forearm, and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager he said. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.”
A few minutes later a phone rang. The attorney lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained “That was my mobile phone, I have a microchip in my hand.”
The Boy felt decidedly low-tech, but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Boy finally said “Well, will you look at that! I’m getting a fax.”
Happy Sexy Saturday.
::That photo of the sexy woman looking for a fax is called Mi Musa, by GuilleDes::
And one for Max below the fold that’s just too dirty for the front page. Have a great Thursday.
CriminyJicket, this is to get the stick out of your Six AM Hateful ass.
From me to you.
Good Mornin’ Sunshine.
(You can click it and make it big.)
Oh, and since it’s Tied-Up Tuesday, there’s a bonus for you down below.
Have a nice day!
Janie will be jealous. She got an R the first time, and NC-17 after a few rants.
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
- sex (19x)
- shit (2x)
- whore (1x)
Especially when you dig up your ashtrays from a cemetery.
Janie found this on the AP wire, and showed it to me.
FITCHBURG, Mass. (AP) — Police say a gravedigger stole body parts – including a skull and a thigh bone – from a broken casket at a church cemetery and took them home to make an ashtray.
“While he was digging a grave, a casket was broken open, so (investigators) believe he took the body parts to make an ashtray and a pipe,” Police Lt. Kevin O’Brien told the Sentinel & Enterprise of Fitchburg.
Police discovered the theft when they went to his apartment Wednesday after his wife complained that her husband, Keith Chartrand, killed her dog. She said she found the body parts among his belongings.
Police charged Chartrand, 30, with removing a body from a grave and cruelty to animals.
Via New Scientist:
Buying a lady a drink to win her favour is a trick not confined to men. Some beetle females will mate simply to quench their thirst.
The bean weevil Callosobruchus maculatus feeds on dry pulses. With a diet like this, the male’s ejaculate is a valuable water source for females. Martin Edvardsson at Uppsala University, Sweden, tested the idea that females tap into this by keeping them on dry beans with or without access to water. Females living on beans alone accepted more matings, presumably to secure the water in the seminal fluid (Animal Behaviour, DOI: 10.1016/j.anbehav.2006.07.018).
Well, whattya know? An evolutionary advantage to one of my favorite passtimes…
Happy Hump Day!